bad friends

Here are the Top Ten Indicators You Need a New Best Friend

  1. You write them a letter and address it, “Dear inmate,”
  2. They say,”Let’s take your car,” and they don’t intend to give it back.
  3. Their yearbook picture is the same as the one that hangs in the Post Office.
  4. They wants you to change your name to “Papa Bear”and move to a remote part of Alaska with them.
  5. They come over to your house to visit… your parents.
  6. They call you and greet you with “How’s my best friend?” and when you reply, they say, “Oh, sorry, wrong number.”
  7. They drive a hearse and work at a funeral home.
  8. They drive a hearse and don’t work at a funeral home.
  9. They ask you over for dinner and if you prefer roast skunk or fried kitty cat.
  10. They suggest “Let’s go over to your house,” but when you step outside, they lock the door behind you.