Tag: life

I Like Baseball

When my son was about six or seven, I took him to his first baseball game, a Brevard Manatees exhibition game. Along about the sixth inning, we were getting fairly hungry and headed down to the concessions booths. We were about fourth or fifth in line when my son announced, “Hey dad, somebody dropped a dollar.”

Space Coast Stadium, Melbourne, Florida

   I looked down, and between our feet was a dollar bill, folded twice. I told him, “Go ahead and pick it up.” So he bent down and picked up the bill.

  “Dad, should I ask the man in front of us if he dropped it?” he asked. I admired his desire for honesty, but I explained to him a micro-lesson in human behavior: If you offer a person something of value, and ask, ‘Is this yours?’ an unscrupulous person will always say ‘yes’ and take your offering, even if it’s not honestly theirs. I told him a better way would be to wait and see what happens when the man pulls his money out to pay. If he notices he is missing money, he will start looking around for it. Then is a good time to offer the money you found to him.

  We waited through several customers, and none seemed to be missing money, so after about five minutes or so, I told my son he could keep the dollar.    We returned to our seats. We sat down and he unfolded the bill and said, “Dad, it’s not a dollar — it’s twenty dollars!” Then he quickly added, “I think I’m gonna like baseball.”

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Rules of Combat (and life)

Rules about self

  • You are NOT Superman.
  • Ambition, attitude, and brains – two are required to be successful.
  • Anything you do leaves you vulnerable – including doing nothing.
  • Try to look unimportant, the enemy may be low on ammunition.
  • Don’t look conspicuous, it draws enemy fire.
  • Don’t draw enemy fire, it makes you quite unpopular with your unit.
  • Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.
  • Never share your foxhole with someone braver than you.

Rules about weapons

  • Remember your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
  • Always aim towards the Enemy.
  • If in doubt, empty your magazine.
  • You have three seconds when lighting a five-second fuse.
  • When the pin is pulled, the grenade is not your friend.

Rules about logistics:

  • Things that must be together to work, can’t be shipped together.
  • Batteries fail when there’s no other power source available.
  • Radios fail when you desperately need fires support.
  • Flashlights are tubular metal containers for storing dead batteries.
  • The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  • If something hasn’t broken on your weapon, it’s about to.
  • If you are short on everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Rules about tactics

  • No plan survives initial contact intact.
  • If it sounds stupid – but it works, it’s not stupid.
  • If your attack is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
  • It is generally inadvisable to eject into the area you just bombed.
  • Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.
  • If you see a bomb technician running, follow him.
  • If one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you still have enough power to make it to the scene of the crash.
  • Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your situation to a person on the ground incapable of doing anything about it.

Rules about fires

  • The only thing more lethal than incoming fire, is incoming friendly fire.
  • Incoming fire has the right-of-way.
  • Tracer fire works both ways.
  • Friendly fire isn’t.
  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.

rules about strategy

  • Professional soldiers are predictable – but the world is full of amateurs.
  • If you are forward of your intended position, artillery will fall short.
  • The diversion you are ignoring is really the main attack.
  • The important things are always simple – the simple things are hard
  • The easy path is mined.
  • When both sides are convinced they are about to lose, they’re both right.
  • If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.

Finally:

  • Once you win the battle, don’t forget to tell the enemy
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The Pocket Watch

My father-in-law loves to trade trinkets. Knives, guns, dogs, trucks, it doesn’t matter; he’ll trade on it.

   One Summer day he was sitting down at the small gas station-convenience store (like men his age do), when Fae came walking up to join them. Fae knew how much my father-in-law likes to trade, so before he even got up to him, he hollered, “‘Lo, Cliff. What you got to trade today?”

“I ‘haint got nothin’ you can ‘ford.” says Cliff.

“You might try me,” said Fae, “You don’t know what I might buy.”

“Well, I do have an awful nice pocket watch… ‘Hits a real nice ‘un.” he replied.

“Well let me see hit.”

   So Cliff let Fae inspect the pocket watch. Fae commented on the weight, and the color, and the size, and the quality, and Cliff reiterated how nice a watch it was, and that being seen with a pocket watch might even in some way help Fae with the lady folkl.

Fae finally said, “I’d like to have that pocket watch, Cliff, I really would, but I can’t see no ways to pay you ’til payday.”

Knowing he had made the sell, Cliff said, “Well, you just pay me when you feel like it.”

Fae got scarce around payday. He didn’t come around all week. Not for two weeks, then almost a full month. Then one day Cliff was driving by the store and saw Fae sitting outside. He pulled in.

After a few minutes of small talk, Cliff said. “You know Fae, I sold you a pocket watch a while back, and you still ‘haint paid me for it.”

Fae answered, “Well, you said I could pay you when I felt like it… and I just ‘ain’t felt like it yet.”

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