Uncle Ezra and his friend, Roosevelt, decided to go try hunting one Saturday morning. Having never been before, they decided that their best chance for success would be to go as far away from civilization as they could. They drove their pickup for miles back into the woods, along the infrequently traveled Fire Tower Road. When they reached the fire tower, they parked and walked farther into the thickest, densest part of the woods, and sat down in a bramble thicket.
There they waited for a deer to come by. And waited. And waited.
“SShhh,” whispered Roosevelt, “I think I hear somethin’.”
Sure enough, it was a buck deer with huge antlers. They could barely contain their excitement as the buck walked toward them, closer, closer. Then “BOOM!” The sound of the rifle split the silence. They had taken their first deer of the season, the first ever for them.
Roosevelt grabbed the deer by the hind legs and started dragging him through the brush, toward the truck. “Help me, Ezra, grab that other leg,” he said. They pulled and tugged, but the antlers keep getting tangled in the weeds. They had been working unsuccessfully at dragging the deer out for about ten minutes when the game warden showed up.
“I heard your shot, and I’ll need to check your license”, he said. They handed over their licenses and the warden glanced them over. “Your paperwork’s good,” he said. “That’s a fine-looking deer you got. Is this your first one?” he asked. “Yes” Roosevelt replied. The warden said, “I noticed you were having trouble taking it out of here. You might find it easier if you pull it by the antlers.” As he walked away, he called back, “You two have a good evening.” And he left.
So Uncle Ezra and Roosevelt grabbed the deer by the antlers and began dragging him out of the woods. This time, they made much faster progress. “The Warden was shore ’nuff right,” Roosevelt said, “It’s much faster dragging him by the antlers.”
“Yeah, ’tis,” said Uncle Ezra, “We’re makin’ much better progress, but unfortunately, now we’re getting farther and farther away from the truck.”
cartoon: Gary Larson, “The Far Side”
Some firemen were sitting outside at the station house on the fire truck when they notice a little boy coming down the street. The boy is in a little red wagon with small wooden ladders hanging on the side. He is wearing a fireman’s hat and has two ropes tied to the wagon. The two ropes are tied to a dog and a cat, and the dog and the cat are struggling to pull the wagon.
As the boy approaches, the fireman says “Hey little boy. What’s your name?” The boy answers, “Joseph.” “Well, What are you doing, Joseph?” The little boy says “I’m going to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!”
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. “Well, Joseph, that sure is a nice fire truck!” “Thanks mister”, says the boy. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the ropes are tied to the dog’s collar, but the cat’s tail.
“Joseph”, says the fireman, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, instead of his tail, I think you would go faster.”
Joseph says, “You’re probably right mister, but then I wouldn’t have a siren, would I?”