A C-130 Hercules cargo plane was lumbering along its flight path when a cocky pilot in a single-seat F-16 fighter flashed by. The jet jockey decided he would show off his speed and agility in the air.
The fighter jock called over the radio to the C-130 pilot, “Hey low-and-slow
buddy, watch this!” and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep
climb in full afterburner. He then finished his little capabilities
demonstration with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier passing by the
C-130 almost at his wingtip.
The F-16 pilot called back over the radio and asked the
C-130 pilot, “What did you think of that?”
The C-130 pilot said, “That was impressive, but watch
The C-130 droned along for about two more minutes and then the C-130 pilot
came back on the radio and said: “Well, What did you think of that?” Puzzled,
the F-16 pilot replied, “I don’t know, what did you do?”
The C-130 pilot chuckled. “I stood up, stretched my legs,
walked to the back, went to the bathroom, then got a cup of coffee and a
cinnamon bun and now I’m back in the cockpit.”
The following is a letter is written from a farm kid going through boot camp at Parris Island Marine Corps Recruit Depot:
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope y’all are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother
Elmer the Marine Corps is easy and beats working for old man Minch by a country
mile. They really ought to join up quick ‘fore all the places are filled.
I was restless at first because they make you stay in bed till
nearly 5:00 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleepin’ in late. Tell Walt and
Elmer all you has to do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine your
boots and buckles. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split,
hay to lay… practically nothing. Men gots to shave but it is not so bad,
they’ve even got warm water.
Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
bacon, etc., but kind of weak on the pork chops, fried taters, salt-cured ham,
steak, sausage, gravy and biscuits and other regular breakfast foods, but tell
Walt and Elmer you can always sit by some city boys that live on coffee and
doughnuts. Their food plus yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.
It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk far.
Speakin’ of walkin’; we go on “route marches” which the Platoon
Sergeant says are long walks to toughen us up. That’s OK If he thinks so, it’s
not my place to tell him any different. A “route march” is about as far as it
is to our mailbox at home. The countryside is nice but awfully flat. We don’t
climb hills or nothin’. Them city guys get sore feet and we all get to ride
back in trucks. The Sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags us a lot. The
Captain is like the county school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and
frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next part will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep
getting medals for shooting! I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is purt-near as
big as a chipmunk’s head – and it don’t move. And it ain’t shootin’ back at you
like the Higgett boys do back home. All you got to do is lie there all
comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You
get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they
break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ol’ bull at home. I’m about
the best they got in this except for that guy Jordan from over in Silver Lake.
I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m 5’6″ and 130
pounds, and he’s 6’8″ and weighs near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other
fellers find out about this setup and come stampeding in.
This dialogue is based on an actual radio conversation
between a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and Canadian
authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
Canadians: “Calling U.S. Aircraft carrier. Please divert your course 15
degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”
Americans: “This is the Captain of the USS Abraham Lincoln. Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”
Canadians: “Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”
Americans: “This is the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln. I say again,
you will have to divert YOUR course.”
Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”
Americans: “THIS IS THE AMERICAN AIRCRAFT CARRIER the USS LINCOLN, THE
SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY
THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH–I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES
NORTH–OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP
AND ITS CREW.”
Canadians: “This is a Canadian lighthouse. Your call.”