One of the distinguishing features of living in a small Southern town is that everybody in town knows everyone else. This is especially true with the older generations who were not as mobile as their younger counterparts.
In the courtroom of one of those small Southern towns, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was an elderly, but spry woman, sharp as a tack and very vocal.
The prosecuting attorney approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I know you, Billy Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot driving your big fancy car and wearing your fancy clothes when you haven’t the brains to realize that everybody in town knows that you’re a fake and you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you, Billy Williams.”
The prosecutor was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room at the defense attorney and asked, “Well, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why, yes, I know Johnny. I’ve known Johnny Bradley since he was a youngster. He’s lazy, he’s bigoted, he’s boisterous and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone because he’s too arrogant. His law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated to pass the board. And speaking of cheating, he’s cheated on his wife with three different women, and one of them was your wife. Yes, I know Johnny Bradley all too well.”
The defense attorney stood helpless. The prosecuting attorney was in shock. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either one of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”
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