Questions About Women:
Is a Laundromat really a good place to pick up a woman?
No, because a woman who can’t afford her own washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
How many men should it take to open a can of soda?
None. It should already be opened when she brings it.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those “evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something intelligent?
When she begins the sentence with “A man once told me…”
How do you fix a woman’s watch?
There’s no need to. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men have gas more often than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who should you let in first?
The dog. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Why do men typically die before their wives?
Because they want to.