One-line jokes start with a simple introduction that does two things: first, it prepares you that you are going to hear a joke, and second, it sets the stage for the presentation. Many classic one-liners start with the same simple line: “knock-knoc…” “A traveling salesman…”, or the long-tenured, “A {****} walks into a bar.” Here are some one-line bar jokes you may or may not have heard:

  • A Horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
  • A bear walks in to a bar and says, “Bartender, I’ll have a beer and …”

“… a pack of peanuts.” The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?”

  • A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, “You have a drink named Steve?”
  • A man and a giraffe walk in to a bar. After having several drinks, the giraffe passes out, so the man decided to call it a night. As he walks out the door, the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t leave that lying in here.” The man responded, that’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.
  • A monkey walks into a bar and says, “A scotch on the rocks, please.” The monkey hands the bartender a $100 bill. The bartender thinks to himself, this monkey doesn’t know the prices of drinks, and gives him a dollar in change. The bartender says, “You know, we don’t get too many monkeys in here.” The monkey replies, “Well, at $90 a drink, I ain’t coming back, either.”
  • A dog walks in to a bar, but he only gets a mild concussion.
  • A termite walks in to a bar. He asks, “Is the bartender?”
  • A dog, a cat, a horse, a monkey and a bear and a giraffe walk in to a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, “Is this some kind of joke?”
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