Tag: home

A Letter from Home

A Kentucky home

Dearest Bubba,

The weather’s been nice here. It only rained twice this week: three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, you’ll have to sew the buttons back on. Your Ant Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

    Your father has an important new job. He now has over 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had her baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don’t know if you are an aunt or an uncle. The neighbor’s wife had twins and he is out with a shotgun looking for the other man.

  Your brother is turning in to a neighborhood bully. He can beat up all the kids around except for the Murphy kids; they’re both boys. Two of your high school friends died the other day. They went off the Cedar Narrows bridge in a pickup truck. Paul was driving; Randy and Scott were in the back. Paul got Out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two drowned; they couldn’t get the tailgate down.

Your Uncle Jim fell in the whiskey vat at work. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off. He drowned with a smile on his face. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Grampa went to the doctor. He wasn’t feeling too well. The doctor told him, “take one of these pills a day for the rest of your life.” Grampa is quite upset ‘cause the doctor only gave him thirty pills. Grandma may be back with us soon. The funeral home said if we didn’t make the last payment on grandma’s funeral, up she comes.

   Well, that’s all the news for now. I would enclose some spendin’ money for you, but I’ve already sealed the envelope.

Love, Mom


REAL Estate

My wife and I have moved eight times during my twenty year military career. While we haven’t purchased that many houses, we have looked at nearly a bazillion that were for sale. Many of the homes we’ve seen had glaring defects: a sagging roof, crumbling foundation, or it was built at the end of an airport runway.

A good seller’s real estate agent will present even the worst of home defects in a positive way (the house doesn’t have indoor plumbing, but look at how much you’ll save on your water bill!) in an effort to make the sell. Here is an example of how to not only read, but also to interpret a real estate ad:

A typical real estate ad and its interpretation