Tag: God

The “Best” Service

A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman and a Marine continually argued about which of the four American Armed Service was “the Best.” The soldier said, “There is no victory unless the ground troops overcome the enemy in their own territory.” The airman added, “But how are you going to get there without the air transportation? That’s why we broke away from the Army Air Corps, you couldn’t handle it.” “You’re not the only game in town, airman,” the sailor chimed in, “the Navy can deliver!”. “Yeah, three weeks later on your fastest boat,” said the marine. “The conflict will be over by then.” chirped the soldier. “Well, we really don’t need you ground-pounders.” the marine said. “The Corps can conduct ground operations as well – You know we’re a department of the Navy… The ‘Men’s Department’.

   And so the debates continued and there was heated discussion, and the impasse lasted throughout their entire careers, until they each eventually passed away. Together, they found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates of Heaven in front of St. Peter.

   “St Peter, they asked. “We have fought over this single question our entire lives. Can you tell us, which branch of the American Armed Forces is the best?”

St. Peter replies: “I can’t answer that. But, we can ask God about it.” Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on St. Peter’s shoulder. In the dove’s beak is a note glistening with gold dust. St Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and St Peter begins to read it aloud to the four veterans:


MEMORANDUM TO SOLDIERS, SAILORS, MARINES, AND AIRMEN

SUBJECT: Which Military Service Is The Best?

1. Gentlemen, All the Branches of the Armed Services are ‘Honorable and Noble.’ Each of you have a dedicated place in the defense and service of your country. Each of you has served your country well and with distinction.

2. Being a member of the American Armed Forces represents a special calling. Not just anyone is suited to serve. It requires a special sacrifice, a dedication, and commitment to the warrior spirit and an ability to value the lives of your fellow countrymen above your own. These are characteristics that warrant special respect, tribute, and memorial. So, each of you should be proud of the service that you gave to your country and comrades, regardless of the branch of the military in which you served.

Very Respectfully,

  GOD
United States Air Force (Retired)

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Ode to a Hamster

When my daughter was very young, we bought her a hamster. She promised to take care of a hamster if we would buy her one. But anyone who has bought their child a hamster, knows how that goes.

Wilbur

   It became my job every day to ensure “Wilbur” had food and water. On Saturday, it was my job to rid the hamster cage of that hideous odor that was a result of the food and water. It was my daughter’s job to watch the hamster while I washed the cage. She would set Wilbur on the sofa next to her and pet him while she watched Saturday morning cartoons. When I would bring the cleaned cage in, I’d ask her, “Where’s Wilbur?” to which she would answer, “He’s right here beside… Where’d he go?” Then we’d spend the rest of the afternoon searching under beds and in closets for him.

   One day, I went to feed and water Wilbur, but he didn’t move. He had passed away in the night.

   I tried to think of the best way to break the news to my daughter. I went to her room, and sat beside her. “Honey, Wilbur died last night. He’s not with us any more,” I said.

“Well, where is he?” she asked.

“God took him to heaven to be with Him,” I said.

She thought about it for a minute and asked, “What does God want with a dead hamster?”

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