Tag: dangerous

Women’s Lexicon

Many times, a woman will say something to a man, and the man will take it on it’s surface . This can lead to problems, especially when what the woman says does not truely convey what she’s feeling. This lexicon of women’s words will alert men to words that women use that have a double meaning – and hopefully, keep them out of trouble.

The Word ==> the meaning:

  • “Fine” ==> This single word has a trilogy of meaning:
  1. This discussion is over
  2. I am right, you are wrong, and
  3. you need to shut up now.
  • “Nothing” ==> This word is the warning before the storm. It actually means “something” and you should be on your toes. Heated arguments that begin with “Nothing” usually end in “Fine.”
  • “Five Minutes” ==> This word must be taken in context.
  1. If she is getting dressed, it means half-an-hour
  2. If it is the amount of time she gives you to finish watching the football game before helping around the house, it means one-and-a-half minutes.
  • “Go ahead”==> You must understand that this word is a dare, not a permission, Whatever it is… DON’T DO IT!
  • A Loud (nonverbal) sigh ==> Although not actually a word, the ‘loud silent sigh’ is often misunderstood by men. A ‘loud silent sigh’ means “You are an idiot and I don’t know why I waste my time standing here and arguing with you over ‘Nothing’.”
  • “That’s Okay” ==> One of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man is “That’s okay.” ‘That’s Okay’ really means “I want you to stop and really think long and hard before you do something stupid and I have to decide how to make you pay for your mistake.”
  • “I don’t care” ==> Simply put, this means “I care about this subject more than you can imagine. I already know what I expect and it is your job to figure it out. If you get it wrong, your life will become a living hell.”
  • “I love you”==> Means “You’re so gullible.”
  • “Do you love me?” ==> “Am I getting fat?”
  • “Am I getting fat?” ==> means “Do you still love me?” (Whatever you do – DON’T answer – it’s a trick question. If you say “Yes,” she thinks you called her fat, if you say “No,” she’ll think you don’t love her!)
  • “Thank you” ==> This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. It can have many meanings, from “I am right – you are wrong” to “This is a rare occasion in which I don’t know what to say.” If a woman says “thank you,” do not question it, just say “you’re welcome” and slowly back out of the room.

Dangerous Questions

Be careful what you ask a woman

The following information was prepared to alert younger men to dangerous questions that they may inadvertently ask their wives or girlfriends; questions that on the surface have no consequence – but can prove seriously disastrous to a relationship if not worded skillfully.

DANGEROUS: You’re not wearing that are you?

SAFER: Is that what you’re wearing?

SAFEST: Are you ready to knock ’em dead?

DANGEROUS: What are you so pissed off about?

SAFER: Could we take a minute to calm down?

SAFEST: Here’s fifty dollars, where do you want to go shopping?

DANGEROUS: Are you ready to admit you were wrong?

SAFER: Is’nt this the first time you’ve ever been wrong?

SAFEST: Are you ready for me to apologize?

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know we have some fresh apples?

SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine to go with that?

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

And my personal favorite…..

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

SAFER: You didn’t over-do it today, did you?

SAFEST: How long have you had that comfortable-looking robe?