Tag: Clifford

The Pocket Watch

My father-in-law loves to trade trinkets. Knives, guns, dogs, trucks, it doesn’t matter; he’ll trade on it.

   One Summer day he was sitting down at the small gas station-convenience store (like men his age do), when Fae came walking up to join them. Fae knew how much my father-in-law likes to trade, so before he even got up to him, he hollered, “‘Lo, Cliff. What you got to trade today?”

“I ‘haint got nothin’ you can ‘ford.” says Cliff.

“You might try me,” said Fae, “You don’t know what I might buy.”

“Well, I do have an awful nice pocket watch… ‘Hits a real nice ‘un.” he replied.

“Well let me see hit.”

   So Cliff let Fae inspect the pocket watch. Fae commented on the weight, and the color, and the size, and the quality, and Cliff reiterated how nice a watch it was, and that being seen with a pocket watch might even in some way help Fae with the lady folkl.

Fae finally said, “I’d like to have that pocket watch, Cliff, I really would, but I can’t see no ways to pay you ’til payday.”

Knowing he had made the sell, Cliff said, “Well, you just pay me when you feel like it.”

Fae got scarce around payday. He didn’t come around all week. Not for two weeks, then almost a full month. Then one day Cliff was driving by the store and saw Fae sitting outside. He pulled in.

After a few minutes of small talk, Cliff said. “You know Fae, I sold you a pocket watch a while back, and you still ‘haint paid me for it.”

Fae answered, “Well, you said I could pay you when I felt like it… and I just ‘ain’t felt like it yet.”

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A Valuable Dog

The coonhound is the perfect dog for hunting in the South

My father-in-law had an old huntin’ dog that he figured was worth some pretty good money, so he put her up for sale. Pretty soon a neighbor man came around and offered him a $100 for the dog. My father-in-law sold it.

   The next day, he got to regrettin’ old Blue not bein’ around, and he called the man up and asked to buy his dog back. The man said “O.K, but I’ve kinda growd to like her. She’ll cost you $150.” My father-in-law paid for the dog and went home. He was glad to have her back that day, but when nightfall came, the dog got the itch to hunt. The dog howlin’ and scratchin’ at the door kept him up all night, so the next morning, he called the other man back.

   He said, “If you still want the dog, I’ll sell her back to you, but I’ll have to have what I should’a charged you the first time — she’s gonna’ be $200 now.” The man thought about it for a little while and then said he’d take her.

   Dad got to thinkin’ a couple days later about what a good huntin’ dog she was and eager she was to go hunting the night she was back. “It’s no tellin what that dog’s really worth,” he thought to himself. So he called the man to buy her back again. The man said, “Sorry, Clifford. I sold that dog to a man over in Chinquapen. He gave me $300 for her.” Cliff said, “Why’d you do that, you fool? We was both making good money off’n that dog.”

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